Given the amount I have been sharing here, this confession is no biggie. Esp considering that everyone by now would have figured out that I am selfish.
My ex husband still loves, and I love him. Now I am incapable of being a wife, so we arent in a relationship. But he still does everything in his capacity to help me. Be it financial, emotional, physical… or any other.
I feel extremely guilty about asking him for help. And I honestly very rarely do. But he offers when he thinks I need. Sometimes even when he doesnt think I need but just so I can have it easy for a bit. Initially I refused it a lot. But now I give in. I kinda enjoy it.
I know its unfair. Noone should get to reap the benefits of hard work that they havent done. I do. And I try stopping myself. But I cant.
He is a sweetheart and he gets absolutely nothing from me. He claims to be doing it purely out of love and without ANY expectations. But that itself is unfair right? Shouldnt he get something out of it all?
Now my confession is not that he helps me and that its unfair. It is that I am sometimes irritated. I want to enjoy all that he does for me, but I want space from him 😦
I know, am a bitch! And I know I cant tell this to anyone. Hence here. Am sorry. I have tried so hard not to think this way. Not to feel this way. But to no avail.
I confess, I suck!