A blog I follow said, sometimes its ok to stop fighting. Is it? Is it ok even for a day? How can you, when you know you might do something that will jeopardise your future and undo some or most of your progress? How then is it ok to take a break? A break from it all?
Its NOT. Its not ok even for a second. You let your guard down for a minute trying to enjoy having been good for so long and thats when life hits you the hardest. And where you least expect it.
Plans. I need concrete plans. Ironically this is the same me that was all about spontaneity just some time back.
Plans with theatre group getting postponed daily. Had a fight with my ex husband coz am letting others decide my mood.
Cant flirt with friend or online coz everyone is home. Cant go out or stay in a hotel for a day or 2 like I had planned coz am very very close to being completely broke.
What do I do? Where do I go? When will I get a break? Will it be before I break down?