2 days of depression. Didnt leave the room post the family counseling session. Partly coz there was a guest at home and partly coz I was slowly sinking back into depression. Apparently the inability to move when feeling low is just a sign of depression. Its called psychomotor retardation and can be cured with muscle relaxation techniques.
Post the session today where I spoke about my past relationships briefly, I came home and crashed. Woke up hungry in the evening and been vegetating since.
Everything is bothering me. Mostly Sid (name changed)… the guy from Africa who broke my heart. Its not just that he hurt me, its that he did it so ruthlessly. He broke my heart, hurt my feelings and made me feel like a slut… All by being exactly the kind of person he claims to be.
Where then did I go wrong? Was he lying to get me into bed? Was he then disappointed and hence moved on? Was it just his aim to hit the bed that once? Was I not good enough for him?
I want revenge. And I will get it… I will get back with a vengeance and he wont even know what hit him. I will recover. I will be successful. I will move on and be so freaking awesome that he will regret he ever let me go. He will miss me and long for me and crave so badly for the rest of his life, that he will NEVER again hurt someone else like this. He will pay for what he has done to me. One way or the other.
I could make him pay right away. I have the time and the resources to slowly but surely plan his downfall. But will I?
No. Coz I have a life. Atleast the remains of one. And am trying to build a new one. From scratch.
Thank goodness that I have things to do. Thank goodness that I have an imagination to use. Thank goodness that I am me. If not… God save him!