Rants and rants…

Went on the trip. Didnt miss any sessions. Doc told me not to go. Stayed with him on mon. Became a mess by eve. Wanted to run away. Went into silence. Mind numbed. Switched. Went out for dinner. Nice. Slept. Rushed back next morn to meet doc n to go from Mantri so noone knows. Lied at home. Sick session. House hunting. Ran away. Rushed off to coorg. Returned for session on fri. Again on sat morn. Tired tired tired. 4 days since then and messed up. Miss him. He can return next week. Dont want that. Dont want to meet him. Fashion week starting friday. Want to go. Dont want to go. Friend started flirting… casually. Married. Do I give out vibes? He likes the risk. Adrenaline high. I want the risk. I need it. Dressed up. Looking fat. Mom said something. Been doing loads of work the last 4 days. Mom down with fever. Was ideal daughter. Hurt. Sad. Depressed. Cancelled plans with everyone. Will sit at home and RANT. Fuck!!!

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