The blackboard 

How do you get over your first love? How do you wipe off the story once scripted so beautifully within you and start from scratch? How do you truly stop being in love with that person to honestly fall in love again? Or do you just empty yourself of their colour and fill afresh with a new liquid? But then every colour leaves a mark and in the end what are you but a stained empty bottle?

I’m not saying I’m not capable of falling in love again because I was hurt. On the contrary, I fell in love again. But he can feel that I’m still in love with my ex. Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Not love. I love several people. But be in love.

I wonder if I’ll ever get over him. Will I ever stop feeling the sightest thud in my chest for a split second every time I hear his name? Will the mark he left on me ever fade? Will the memories, feelings, cravings, pain ever go away? Do I want them to?

No. That’s not true. I do want them to go away. I’ll just miss them. Miss how he awakened my body from sleep with just his touch. Miss how he made my world go spinning with happiness. Miss how his one glance made me blush red. Miss how I was 9 and he was 29.


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