I woke up today refreshed. I’d spent a considerable amount of time last night talking to myself and making lists. So after a fun breakfast with a couple of people I know (more about that soon), I headed to a local supermarket to buy all the things I would need.
Cleaning supplies, mosquito coil, drain cleaner, grocery, fruits(so what if my kitchen doesn’t have a cooking facility), juices… I walked back with a heavy bag full of everything I’ll need to set this place up for the next 2 months.
Invigorated and extremely proud of myself, I set forth creating my home in anonymity.
I started with the bathroom. After clearing the drain of god knows what, I scrubbed the walls, floor, toilet and everything down till it was sparkling with the same freshness my attitude had. Then I dusted, swept, mopped, cleaned the kitchen and finally had a refreshing cold water bath.
To celebrate my happiness and my huge victory over my demons… I made a nice sandwich with the provisions I bought today.
Sitting in my veranda eating my fresh sandwich, drinking juice… I can’t help but wonder if goa did help. I can’t imagine being this positive and hardworking in Bangalore. Does the city really make a difference? Or was making the journey the kick I needed in my butt to get off the loser attitude I’d developed over years? The subtle self pitying mode that I comfortably covered with my bipolar and abused life. The subtility was the nail on my coffin. Any sympathetic person and most non sympathetic people would empathize hearing my stories. Esp since I indulge in so much self bashing that they feel the urge to balance it out.
Having been brought up in a coastal country, I’ve always felt that a land locked city lacked the sense of freedom and earthiness that a coastal city has. I am now in Goa- The land of beautiful beaches and beach tourism… yet without even one visit to the beach in the 3 days I’ve been here… I’ve been set free. I feel one with the earth. With all the energy around me.
Still sleepless. Hope this isn’t mania hitting in some weird way. Well… even if it is, might as well enjoy the ride.