It’s amazing how once you let yourself be you, you find facets to yourself you never knew existed. You find enterprising skills, social skills, courage, and many other things that you so well hid behind a fake personality that you yourself created, which socially conditioned as it may be, would never be as real and well loved as you can be.
I not just figured out a way to make this space into the cosy place I feel comfortable in, I also started doing things that have scared the bejeeses out of me forever. I went shopping to a local supermarket, got chatting with the manager about tea bags, went scouting with the cafe guys for a space to start another business, cooked, sang, rode around, cleaned… and… I didn’t react badly when a shopkeeper thought my boobs had more to say to him than me. I don’t think lecturing him will change anything. Stopping him will curb it temporarily and then I hope to work at changing the way people are perceived in society.
I feel comfortable, confident though I’ve put on more weight, relaxed, happy, satisfied. I feel at home.
No, it’s not the place. It’s me. I’m back.
So with a few clothes, my brush, a few essentials and zip pouches in my backpack, I’m ready to set up my nest anywhere. Coz wherever I go, I’ll always be home.