I’m so tired today. And have been crying for no reason. I slept till noon, made coconut stuffed crepes that I like, washed clothes and cleaned up which normally makes me happy, made lists, did money calculations… basically tried everything that normally cheers me up. Tried thinking of the beach or food trucks or other goa things that normally make me excited. But that’s on non bipolar days.
Today I can’t understand why I’ve been happy and why I’m doing anything. All I want to do is sleep and cry. I want to be hugged. Loved. Felt. Needed.
I want to give up. Become a child and feel safe with my parents while I behave spoilt.
It’s amazing how I want to do now the things I didn’t even do as a child.
It’s amazing how I just want and want and want… 🙂