Day 8- A strange loss

A kid the cafe hired to help out with the cleaning just recently turned 18. He has come far away from his home to earn money for his family. He looks scared, confused and lost. To cope with the stress, I’m sure he will adopt the behaviour he has seen of alpha humans back home or here. Very soon this naive innocent kid will become a rough, rude, vulgar adult. Is he at fault? Is he supposed to know better despite what his surroundings teach him? The chaltha hai… everything goes attitude is something that people don’t realize that adopt and spread. It’s ok to waste resources, to crack discriminatory jokes, to just make do. It’s called resourcefulness and it’s appreciated.

It’s an attitude I’ll never understand. And yet… I subconsciously adopted it for a long time. Now it’s a conscious fight to not continue being like that.

A recent ruling by the court said that daughter in law’s shouldn’t be treated like maids. What does that mean? You can treat maids badly? Make them slog for a pittance? Just because they happened to be born in conditions that aren’t conducive for much else?

Yes, there are people who from those situations grow up to be super achievers. But what about people who are born not very beautiful or smart. Physical labour is what they can do. So? Are they any less than scientists? Or beauty pageant winners? Or sports stars?

Anyway seeing this lost kid, my heart went out to him. The cafe treats him very nicely and provides him with food and accommodation. But what about love? And respect? And kindness…

Yesterday in my bad state I fought with my partner. I’m sure he understood that I was in a bad state. We talked it out today too. But like he says… he is just human. There is only this much he can take.

Despite what he said today I’m sure I lost him a bit more today. Pushed him one step closer to having had enough.

Alone, with noone to talk to, I feel like that kid. A strange sense of terrible loss envelops me.

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