Day 11- Thoughts

Why can’t he help me?  Why do you think he isn’t? Maybe he is and you just keep wanting more. So what’s wrong with that? Why can’t I want as much as I want and when I want it? Because you aren’t doing anything. Are you? Are you doing the best you can? Is this your best? Are you really this weak? Gosh I’m hungry. Why can’t he see I’m hungry when I say I am. Or does my hunger not count because I certainly don’t do anything about it. Why doesn’t he care more? Why can’t someone take care of me on and off so that I get a break. Why why why the fuck? How hard is it to find something in my house? I’m organised. So find it. Use it. Do things. Fucking help me. Don’t just go to sleep. Please. I cried all through last night. I am sorry I’m not better or healed. I’m sorry I’m human.

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