I’ve never been first at anything. Even to my parents, I was their second born, which coincidentally my dad didn’t even want. I’ve been average in school, decently good at sports and extra curricular activities but never first. Even in college when I topped the university, I had to share my place with a girl from another college.
I’ve craved to know what it feels like to be the first. First thought in someone’s mind. First choice for something.
I want someone to make me feel special. Like I’m their first priority. Like they will think of me before even themselves. Like they will love me with the same obsession that I will them. Unconditionally love me. Want me. Crave for me.
Not say I love you but first I’ll think of myself. You are gorgeous but fat. Yes it looks ugly but it doesn’t bother me. Yes you are in a bad state and need me but I’m busy.
No. I want someone to choose me… when even I don’t choose myself first.