Day 42- The child in me

Yesterday I visited my best friend since childhood, who is a new mom. And spending time with her and her baby made me realise how much my needs are like a child’s.

I want someone who will sit where I ask them to because I patted on the floor. I want to keep shaking my head and be spoken to. I want someone to watch my step and help me land. And take care of me if I hurt myself. I want someone to feed me and cuddle me and love me. Hug me just because I want. Just because they want. Someone to put aside all their needs coz I need them. To make sure I know they are in my corner all the time.

With terrible period crams and no pain killers I got no sleep at night. After dozing off for an hour with pure exhaustion this morning I woke up with a terrible nightmare. I wanted someone to calm me. Talk to me. Hug me. Let me know it was just a nightmare.

Sometimes I need to just man the fuck up and be an adult.

Been an hour but the palpitation is not reducing. Great!

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14 thoughts on “Day 42- The child in me

      • not so good getting better i got screwed over by a mental health clinic for complaining about a therapist that triggered me said bad stuff the pdoc stooged me out and the department head trying to use my complaint calls to deny me treatment. i went through a lot of shit. i am moving on from the clinic and they tried to offer one refill i called patent care now i get all the refills i want until i get my new pdoc in a few months very triggering and stressed using all that to put in my horror express my trauma and fear and anxiety into making a great horror book instead of letting it occupy my mind every day

      • Wow… That is a lot. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through a bad time. Hope the book comes out well and you have a positive ending to this nightmarish experience.
        Belated yet, happy new year.
        Back in Bangalore now, have connectivity. Will read your stories soon πŸ™‚ take care…

      • happy new year i take from this nightmare big positives it leads me to better providers in 2017 i finished one horror book in ten days and wrote 6 chapters and counting today over 1/3 done with the next book in just 2 days

      • Thanks yea 9 chapters today and its only 4pm I finished half of this book now in 2 days! This book is turning out great just the way I wanted it

      • yea not tell i wrote complaint letters to the medical board did they stop trying to deny me care passing off my threatening to write complaint letters as a reason to deny care they used the word ‘unsafe’ by the therapist that i complained about what a baby cant take a complaint she told me ‘i am going to make you uncomfortable, i am going to piss you off, you might no show and she gets a lot of no shows she gets 150 bucks in her pocket every time they no show to get her out of trouble they twisted it around on me but i outsmarted them and things are okay now but really intense 15 days

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