All set for a call with A. We spend a few mins coochie cooing and in happiness. He pampers my inner panda and all is well with the world.
Few mins later he acts surprised about our dinner date. And while I try explaining something to him, he is unable to hear. And that is enough for my mood to switch. I act normal but feel very very sad, low and irritated.
He understands and talks me through it. And I take the effort to not think in the disorderly way my mind works and understand and evolve.
In 5 mins, with my spirits back on track, we continue talking.
I love him for helping me understand and figure this out. I worry about the time he won’t be able to or interested in. I want to do this to myself… This thought correction. I was able to last year which is why I stopped medication and therapy. But now after a year of dealing with baggage and maintaining a relationship alongside it, I’m tired. And without my effort, I’m back to these insensible thoughts.
Should work on it again. Should prioritize again. Thank you world, thank you A. A Thanksgiving message is long overdue. 🙂