Day 55 part 3- a new mission

I am embarking on a new mission to get my life back. This will involve 4 different aspects that will need to be worked on parallelly.

1. Fat to fit- I need to get back in shape. Not because of social pressure as much as my desperate need to reduce the number of things holding me back. Also being fit will probably give me more energy, something I currently have at short supply.

2. Lame to fame- I’ve been so busy worrying about what others think about me that I don’t attempt half the things I want to because of my fear of failure. I used to live inside my head when I was younger. That kept all the good things people said away but then it kept me away from their contagious negativity too. So I shall now find a mid way between the two and venture out into the real world. Try my hand at life.

3. Impressively express- I realised that i used to write or sing or cook to get appreciation. Fueled by my under confidence, my need for a Kudos grew monumentally with my age. Enough. I shall write, read, sing, dance, cook, or whatever else to express what I want. Coz impressive or otherwise I want share my story.

4. Confidence- I desperately need this. The confidence to cook for others, eat in front of others, sleep in the presence of others (ironic since that’s the only time I feel safe enough to sleep), try writing the book I’ve been meaning to, wear the clothes that I crave to wear, go shopping for clothes, everything! I need confidence. So before I burst out into a song like in Sound for music… I need confidence in confidence alone. Besides which you see I need confidence in me!

I need to get on my mission mode and start working on these things because like I provedd today, poke at a good thing for long enough and you will find something that irks you. So without further ado, let’s trug along folks.


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