One of the reasons for the Goa trip was to put into place a routine that will work for me. That involved not just sleeping and eating on time but also incorporating into a day things that help me function like an adult. Figuring out those things and indulging in them in a healthy fashion.
However thanks to getting friendly with C and working at the cafe, I’ve lost the control over my alone time. I still get time alone but it’s not long or continuous enough for me to kick into action. And now to ensure I get that for the remainder of my trip, I’ll have to explain to C and be very curt and clear.
The whole reason for Bangalore not working out for this was that there I have interruptions, however minute, and the cut off would require explanations and conversations. Something I really didn’t feel like doing.
Goa served purpose. A lot of purpose. Not what I thought it would but a lot of other things. And I’m very grateful for that. But now I need to figure something else out as well to put a routine in place.
Maybe return to Bangalore without telling anyone and take the time there. Maybe swtich my phones off during that time to avoid the need to explain anything to anyone.
I know that sounds like escapism, running away. But on the contrary, that is to fix into place a healthy sensible routine so that I can get back into normal life and do only what I can fit into my routine. Not let the world take over completely and run around like a scared puppy.