Day 59 part 2- RIP Panda

It’s time to kill the panda in me. Time to be adult. All the time. If not kill, atleast cage it. Bring it out and play with it when alone. When noone can blame you or ignore you. When it’s just you and you create a world of love for it to survive.

Indulge in yourself. Pamper yourself. Have fun. Be cute.

But do all this alone. There is a reason pandas are becoming extinct. They are lazy balls of cuteness and love. They can’t survive this horrible world.

So be an adult. Preserve your inner panda for safe love full environments.

People might miss that side of you. Ask you for it. Don’t fall into that trap because you are incapable of boundaries. They will pamper the panda and move on… And you’ll die a million deaths.

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2 thoughts on “Day 59 part 2- RIP Panda

  1. My therapist has been saying something similar, that I need to “move out of adolescence and into adulthood”. Except I think I am pretty “adult” right now. I have a FT job, I’m raising children, I’m working to create a financially stable environment for my family…

    • My needs are quite adolescenty. They used to be very child like. I needed love and care and affection and appreciation and security like how children need it. I tend to be very productive and bloom when I get it… Else I feel abandoned and alone. From there I’ve reached this stage. Huge achievement for me. But even that’s too much of an ask from someone else. So noone deserves to be exposed to my cute vulnerable human side. They will get the adult walls. The sensible practical adult who will be selfish and take care of herself. No crazy passion and pain. Just safety. Maybe I’m saying all this in hurt. Maybe once I calm down I’ll think logically. I’m just so fucking lonely!

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