Today when a little kindness and understanding from A pushed me into child/panda mode I not just realised, but also managed to talk normally and then snap out of it in an hour.
Normally I’d have riddled him with guilt for not helping or taking care of me or doing something so that I get a break. For atleast some time. If I was understanding, it would be fake and I would actually just be sad that noone gets it… noone cares enough to help.
So it’s a huge achievement for me that even though these thoughts hit, I overcame them quite fast. It’s a start. Hopefully it’ll happen faster and faster until these thoughts probably stop hitting.
Here’s hoping that happens sooner rather than later… keeping fingers crossed!