After a whole day of not being very productive except for preparing my meals and eating and well, not forgetting to breathe… I headed for the cafe in the evening. We sorted some operational issues and then armed with chicken (since beef was not available) we headed to C’s place.
She made these amazing chicken burgers within an hour. And we discussed life, our decisions, past, etc over a glass of wine and the awesome food.
I realised that my goa trip, though not really having served the purpose it was meant to, is definitely serving some purpose. Not only has it made me more able to functional normally (though I think being in a small town with minimal traffic has a huge role to play in it) and be confident enough to wear dresses and shorts (yes, after the confidence I got from wearing the dress yesterday, I wore shorts today! Not very short, but shorts nonetheless. Yaaaay me) but it has also helped me see my life from the outside.
C has several of the problems I do. Not bipolar or BPD but several inhibitions, years of judgemental oppression, emotional abuse and the guilt, trauma and stigma of a failed marriage. She is also continuing to make the mistakes I made a while back and still keep making. This has helped me tremendously. 🙂
Even though I was not my perky upbeat self through the day, I’m happy enough to be tempted to extend my stay through Jan. Yaaay 🙂