I got so obsessed with the whole drama around C and how life is and the lack of humanity in the world that I fucked things up with A.
How do I do this? Get so affected by random things that might be important but in the process I hurt people who are more important. I lose focus on everything else in my mad confused state of trying to understand the world.
Why? Everything was going so well. Why did I have to do this!!
Or is C more important to me than A? Do I love her more than I love him? After all she does offer friendship, and he just love. Gosh, I need focus!!