After a short rest post the trip to the movies, we made a comfy dinner of chicken soup, fried sausages, garlic bread and scrambled eggs with ham. It’s was, like the rest of the day, fun warm and loving.
Then we sat down without distractions and spoke.
I told him about my thoughts, my plans for the future, my doubts and fears, my inhibitions, everything. He listened. Smiled. Hugged me after 2 hrs of my monologue and said Good plan. 🙂
He told me how this intent and passion is what he had seen in me the first time we met and that’s what he has been feeling I’m losing.
We hugged and lay down and connected. He was happy. We had amazing sex.
And I was so spent and exhausted and overwhelmed that all I could feel was like it was the end of something. Something magical and naive. The death of the innocent hopeful me.
But guess it’s all for the good. I should start honestly internalizing and believing what I’ve been consciously accepting. My life. Just mine. My plans. My future.
A very lonely thought, but… Atleast it’s the truth. It’s reality.
I will have this life I’ve planned out. And for my desperate need for love, I’ll fill my life with animals, plants, food, books and music. Dogs, cats, cows, horses… Even birds. They know. They understand. They love. What more do I want!