How much is too much

Today in conversation, my mom said that January was actually not too much. For a normal person or a bipolar person on meds and therapy, January would have been bad but not devastating.

Is that true?

I had a 1 month abortion. Lost both my kittens. Lost my best friend to a freak accident after having lived with her for 3 months till Jan 1st. And lost my favourite uncle just a month prior to that.

Am I really just making a big deal out of nothing? How much is too much?

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Gulp it down

I’ve bucked up and collapsed so often that even my family has lost faith in me. So now when I’m restarting my training company and a project was coming though… My brother’s lack of faith in me following through and my boy friend’s lack of ever having anything supportive or encouraging to say hit me badly. Not that I expressed anything coz god forbid anyone knows I have emotions. Oooooo.

But now finally in my room at night, I can’t stop crying. But cry, we shall not.

We shall drink water, watch something and try to sleep asap. Coz now with meds and therapy and myself to fall back on, life’s a calling.

Chug chug chug chug chug…!