Winds of change

Swooosh… I go through plants and trees

A wind, a tornado, a gentle breeze

Deftly from one intensity to another

I switch between with utmost ease

Sometimes sans control, sometimes at will

Sometimes the victim, at others, ready to kill

I swooosh through my days without a care

Like a bad habit or a mandatory fire drill

Sometimes I agree I stick to the norm

I’m music and love and cool when you are warm.

But then I flare up… With intensity doubled

I fight… I cry… I kick up a sand storm

When will I stop moving? This wasted life who will see?

Shadows of my memories, volcanoes of my past

Trap them, destroy them or let them be?

After all, aren’t they just versions of me!


7 thoughts on “Winds of change

  1. Yesterday was bad depression like I used to have for days. I am glad this only happens one day a month or less now even though I am depressed every day especially at bedtime even if in a slight manner. I used to have more up days than not until this past year it is and every day thing when it was down to once a week. It used to be over nothing I can name, now I think it is stress about my daughters whom my ex was mind abusive , spiritual, mental and verbal to me and them when they got older. All with how they went through with the fighting of me trying to survive with standing up for them and myself. Now especially my older one is messed up and really concerns me. Because of my empathy also it damages me since she freaks out and I want to help, but I have always been strong and recover. She is overweight. Loses every friend she gets since she is desperate for love. Envious of all she knows getting married since she drives all away and she does not care how she looks. She is only in her 20’s and has no life of love left. She does go to a counselor, but I think she says nothing of what is really going on. Her dad has poisoned her to keep her mouth shut and bottle it up. I tried to compensate, but he was so good and is good at it. It is like being waterboarded by him.

    • Oh my… I’m so sorry. You are the reason I’m living today. You gave me hope that someone cares. Reached out when I was desperate and lonely and going to do something ridiculously dangerous, more than my usual life. My phone pinged with a comment from you on my some post saying ‘you care’. And it changed my life forever.
      All I can say is… I care. And things will get better. Your daughter will get better. We all need a turning point in our lives. And she will have hers soon. Hang in there. If there is anything I can do to help, even if it’s chatting with your girl, please let me know. Coz I truly care. Thank you! For my life. For everything.

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