Very low. Been crying thinking of random things.
Want fancy wedding. Imagine getting married a second time and still having done nothing that I want to…
I’m ok with it. But sometimes I wish I could have fun and enjoy. Be dressed up for a few days. Have people obsessing over me. Being the centre of attention. Celebrating. Dancing. Music…
But it comes at a huge cost. Not just financially. Emotionally. Ethically. Even the realisation that even during these functions, noone really cares about you. They simply come to enjoy.
I don’t know what I’m talking about. Guess I just want to dress up.
Mom has been helping the dad, of a 6 month old baby who needs an emergency surgery, to collect money. Via her friends, milaap, everything. She arranged a few lakhs. They needed 20 I think. It’s worked out anyway.
Another ex colleague of hers is suffering from anxiety. It sucks. I know… And she is talking about how I used to have panic attacks and how I’ve overcome it to just being anxiety.
Dad reached out to understand BPD, how is it different from bipolar, how I manage both, etc. I thought he wanted to know. Turns out his friend’s husband has. So he finally just asked if he can connect that friend to me
Everything is always about everyone else. Activist assholes.
They have no time or energy or mind space or interest when it comes to me.
After I told them about my sexual abuse since 6, they’ve informed every family they know about how to be careful about their daughters, what happened to me, etc.
EXCEPT taking the effort to be there for me.
And somehow I’m the one who eats medicines and gets therapy!!!
How does this make any sense!