Off the grid

I’m not ok. I went to watch a play today. And I felt so low and lonely and disconnected from a world that used to be mine. One to which I belonged… And how.

I miss it. I crave the adrenaline. I miss the creativity. The rush of creating something. Something that’s yours. That you conceived. That you partook in. That you…

Forget creating one… I am not even function enough to go watch one.

I’m always so tired. Of life. The world. Everything.

Is it normal to feel this tired? And I’m so fat. I didn’t realise I’d become this huge. When I look at my pics, I don’t relate to them. Coz in my head I look like something else.

I’m so disconnect from reality. In so many ways. My disassociation seems like the last thing keeping me off the grid.