Time

It’s going to be 2 years. Just 20 more days and it’ll be 2 years since THAT DAY.

The day I had an abortion, my pet died and my best friend died.

The day after which I… I don’t know. I just lost myself. To deal with shit I had moved to Goa. Stayed with her for half a year. Lived. Planned our future together. We both were equally messed up. Needed each other.

We had dreams. Aspirations. And we were going to push each other to achieve them.

And then she died. Took my unborn and my boochi with her. Selfish bitch. She left me. Who gave her permission to die. To leave me.

Dammit! It’s been 2 years. Fucking 2 years crying over it. I need to let her move on. I NEED to move on. It’s time. It’s high time.

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Day 94- Goodbye Goa

It’s the first of Jan. A new year is starting today. Which means nothing except for people who like celebrating things… So yaaaaay it’s a new year!!!

After 94 days and a myriad of experiences later, it’s time for me to head back to Bangalore. 

Not home. Coz I think I’m home. Finally. It’s magical how as the curtains fall on my great adventure, I’m hitting realisations and getting closure. Almost everything here served purpose. Not what I wanted… But much more. What I needed. 

Too emotional today to go into details. More soon. Happy new year guys. 

And good bye Goa. You saved a girl.

Day 92- Plans

I am thinking of moving out of Bangalore. To goa. Alone. Scared. Overwhelmed.

I am more functional here. Way more. I could take up a job. Regular mainstream job that doesn’t require my mind. The small city ambience and lack of crowd helps.

I’m scared. Nervous. Want to talk to someone. 

Bangalore was home. My home. Since I left my hometown. Wherever I went, I returned there like a homing pigeon. Now I have nothing there anymore. Noone. And once I move out, I’ll have no place there either.

I’ll then truly be homeless! Hahaha… Interesting thought when I’m already overwhelmed.

Day 90 part 1- A Goan day

After the fun times last night, A and I got a little physically intimate which overwhelmed me and then I played clash of clans till 4am. Finally I fell asleep and woke up at 7 along with A.

Since we both couldn’t fall asleep after that, we decided to head out for breakfast to a nice French bistro. We had a light tasty breakfast with tuna and black forest ham and mud pie and carrot cake with some smoothies and washed it all down with a nice black coffee.

After that we returned home, talked, rested and then went to the cafe to hang out with C. We made some tasty fish burgers, ridiculously yum beef burgers and a tried our hand at making a DIY lampshade using fevicol and twine.

After playing with Fi once back home, we all rested again till late evening and then went to my food truck where we had the tastiest chilly beef on bread and roast beef on bread. C has been in a good place since the talk last night and was active and fun today.

Now A and I plan to ride around for a while and head to mango tree with C once cafe is shut for the day. 🙂